One Line Jokes Funny

By | June 17, 2017

One Line Jokes :Hello Friends Now I am going to share one line Jokes for Funny  These One line Jokes are very hilarious jokes which make us happy and laugh loud.they are very much helpful when we get bored and when we are alone.People enjoy these jokes when they were travelling alone and when they are in off mood.These jokes rejunavate us an make us fresh and active.Also when we are depressed and sad then also these kind of jokes are very useful.They make us transform to new levels of happiness.

These jokes can be enjoyed by one and all as the are clean and neat jokes. These jokes can be enjoyed by kids,youngsters,middle age people and elderly people.kids enjoy the jokes very much and they laugh loud and make us laugh too.middle age peoples forget all the worries and stress by enjoying these kind of jokes.elderly people will relax an enjoy these jokes and forget thier boredom.These jokes can be enjoyed at any funtions and get togethers also.when we meet our friends or relatives after a long time we can sit together and enjoy these jokes and make everyone happy and also the surroundings happy. Let’s enjoy the jokes.

One Line Jokes Funny

one line jokes for funny

One Line Jokes :1.You’re not fat, you’re just… easier to see.

2.A conference call is the best way for a dozen people to say “bye” 300 times.

3.For every action, there is a corresponding over-reaction.

4.The difference between “Girlfriend” and “Girl Friend” is that little space in between we call the “Friend Zone”.

5.I bet you I could stop gambling.

6.I’ve been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now, I think I’ll start calling them traditions.

7.A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

8.I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is… Scaring men is easy.

9.Whatever you do always give 100 %. Unless you are donating blood.

10.Whoever said nothing is impossible is a liar. I’ve been doing nothing for years.

funny one liners on life

corny one line jokes

11.Q: What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?

A: Snowballs.

12.Improve your memory by doing unforgettable things.

13.It’s bad luck to be superstitious.

14.Nothing ruins a Friday more than an understanding that today is Tuesday.

15.I got caught in police speed trap yesterday. The officer walked up to my car and said “I’ve been waiting all day for you ” Well I said. I got here as fast as I could.

16.If time is money are ATM’s time machines?

17.Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.

18.Never trust a dog to watch your food.

19.A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.

20.My job is secure. No one else wants it.

funny one liners on life

funny one line jokes

21.America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won’t cross the street to vote.

22.I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months- I don’t like to interrupt her.

23.My wife had her driver’s test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear.

24.One cigarette shortens your life by two hours, one bottle of vodka by three hours, and a workday – eight hours.

25.Why is the day that you do laundry, cook, clean, iron and so on, called a day off?

one liner puns

26.Best friends: Ready to die for each other, but will fight to the death over the last slice of pizza.

27.Never tell your problems to anyone…20% don’t care and the other 80% are glad you have them…

28.I think that if I died and went straight to hell it would take me at least a week to realize I wasn’t at work anymore.

29.If I’d shot you sooner, I’d be out of jail by now.

 

30.A straight face and a sincere-sounding “Huh?” have gotten me out of more trouble than I can remember.

 

31.The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.

 

32.It’s better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.

 

33.There are few things I enjoy more than picking an argument with my girlfriend when she has the hiccups.

 

34.A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

 

35.It is much easier to apologize than to ask permission.

 

36.Every time you talk to your wife, your mind should remember that… ‘This conversation will be recorded for Training and Quality purpose’

 

37.My ex wrote to me: Can you delete my number? I responded: Who is this?

 

38.Treat Two-faced people like mushrooms. Keep them in the dark and feed them shit.

39.Wife: “I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?” Husband: “You have perfect eyesight.”

one liner pick up lines

40.Just tell me when and where and I’ll be there 20 minutes late.

 

41.If procrastionation was an Olympic sport, I’d compete in it later.

 

42.If procrastionation was an Olympic sport, I’d compete in it later.

funny one liners status

one line jokes for fun

43.Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

 

44.How did I escape Iraq? Iran.

 

45.Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

 

46.I like to finish other people’s sentences because… my version is better.

 

47.What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

 

48.People who write “u” instead of “you”. What do you do with all the time you save?

 

49.The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.

 

50.The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

51.If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.

clever one liners

one line puns

52.I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me, she said yes – about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.

 

53.You must have been born on a highway because that’s where most accidents happen.

 

54.The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don’t have to mow it.

 

55.TRUE FRIENDSHIP: Walking into a persons house and your wifi connects automatically.

 

56.Any room is a panic room if you’ve lost your phone in it.

 

57.Nothing is fool proof to a sufficiently talented fool.

 

58.I refused to believe my road worker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home, all the signs were there.

 

59.I am known at the gym as the “before picture.”

 

60.Always identify who to blame in an emergency.

 

 

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