Funny Pun Jokes Best Funniest Jokes

By | August 18, 2017

Funny Pun Jokes :Hello Guys This Is Sairam I am going to share funny jokes and best funniest jokes . These jokes are very hilarious and funny and make us laugh at any time.these pun jokes are loved by one and all. They are very clean jokes which can be enjoyed by both kids as well as elders. Jokes are meant to be enjoyed and which should not be used to make fun of others and hurt others. These pun jokes are stomach tickling and very beautiful and neat jokes. let’s enjoy the jokes. Funny Pun Jokes For All Jokes Lovers

 

Funny Pun Jokes 

funny pun jokes

  1. I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.

 

2.Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.

 

3.I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.

 

4.Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m OK, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.

 

5.I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

 

6.Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

 

 

7.I used to be a banker but I lost interest

 

best funny pun jokes

8.Why don’t programmers like nature?

 

A:It has too many bugs.

 

 

9.A prisoner’s favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.

 

 

10.Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

A:She ran away from the ball.

Best Funniest Jokes

11.He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.

 

12.eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.

 

13.A few months ago, Hamas 
“arrested” a dolphin for being an 
Israeli spy.

 

Readers of Reason 
magazine came up with titles for
 the film this action

 

might inspire:

 

  • Orcapussy
    • Free Schmuelly
    • Goldflipper
    • The Porpoise-Driven Life
    • Dolphinfidel

 

14.My doctor took one look at 
my gut and refused to believe that 
I work out. So I listed the exercises 
I do every day: jump to conclusions, climb the walls, drag my heels, 
push my luck, make mountains out of molehills, bend ove backward, run around in circles, put my foot 
in my mouth, go over the edge, and beat around the bush.

15.A man just assaulted me with milk,cream and butter.How dairy.

16.I’m glad I know sign language, it’s pretty handy.

 

17.Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the No-bell prize!

Funny pun Jokes

18.My ten-month-old was sitting in her high chair, twisting and moving all over the place. My wife said to me, “Straighten her up.” I looked at my daughter and said, “What are you doing with your life? Do you want to be this way forever? It’s time to grow up.” My wife hasn’t asked me to do anything since.

 

19.I have a few jokes about unemployed people but it doesn’t matter none of them work.

20.My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned: couldn’t concentrate.

21.I got my hair highlighted because I thought some strands were more important than others.

22.The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.

 

23.As we waited for a bus in the frosty weather, the woman next to me mentioned that she makes a lot of mistakes when texting in the cold. I nodded knowingly. “It’s the early signs of typothermia.”

best funny jokes
24.What was Forrest Gump’s email password?

A:”1forrest1″

25.I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na..

 

26.I’m no photographer, but I can picture us together.

 

27.I hate insects puns, they really bug me.

 

28.Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? They taste funny.

 

29.A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason… details are sketchy.

 

30.I relish the fact that you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup to me.

 

 

31.What do you call Watson when Sherlock isn’t around?

A: Holmeless.

funniest jokes

32.I am so poor I can’t even pay attention.

 

33.My math teacher called me average. How mean!

 

34.What do you call Watson when Sherlock isn’t around?

A: Holmeless.

 

 

35.I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.

 

36.I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech’ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter ‘Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite’.

37.Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

funny pun jokes best jokes

38.If anything is possible, is it possible for something to be impossible?

39.Which day do chickens hate the most? Friday.

40.Last time I got caught stealing a calendar I got 12 months.

41.I’ve just written a song about tortillas – actually, it’s more of a rap.

42.It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.

43.A hole was found in the wall of a nudist camp. The police are looking into it.

44.Why do people litter? Because they dont take the litter signs litterally.

45.Fishermen are reel men.

46.I Renamed my iPod The Titanic, so when I plug it in, it says, “The 
Titanic is syncing.”

47.Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu—you get what you deserve.

48.A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..

49.For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened.

50.A garage sale is actually a Garbage sale but the “b” is silent.

51.What tea do hockey players drink? Penaltea!

52.Whats long and hard and has cum in it? A cucumber.

53.A donkey fell into a bowl of sugar. Now that’s a sweet ass.

54.What do you call an academically successful slice of bread? An honor roll.

 

55.My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.

 

56.A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said ‘No change yet’.

 

57.What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire.

 

58.Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day? Sure, they’re very scent-imental!

 

59.No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

 

60.Why did the prawn leave the nightclub? Because he pulled a muscle.

 

 

 

 

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